How to Give a Glesgae Kiss

MEN ARE LIKE BUSES

2005-06-29T12:44:00.000Z

That's all I'll say. No actually, I can't, it's not in my genetic make-up not to elaborate. I think we ladies must emit the right mix of pheramones (sp?) about once every 2 years or something and wham - eight men all of a sudden flock around us, flapping and squawking (There is variation of course. For some of us - Katie Wolicki - there is never a time when we are not emitting the right mix, and for others it seems we are always emitting the wrong kind, but for the girls somewhere in the middle it's about 2 years).

Now I'm not complaining. I, like the next girl, hang a lot of my self-worth on whether fanciable guys fancy me back, so when more than one guy that I like suddenly takes an interest, I'm flattered, but why, when I've known them for years, do they pick the same time to start acknowledging my existence in more than a platonic (shut up Mark) way???Was the lighting good? Was I wearing new body lotion? Did I leave the conversation at the right moment? Did I suddenly start saying all the things men want to hear? I really don't know! Hooking up is the reason for our being after all, and if we humans hadn't gone and complicated it all by starting wars and inventing the 3rd world (progressing at the expense of others), well, then there'd be nothing else to do but wander around having sex, getting married, getting bored, and starting all over again. But instead we have created problems that have nothing to do with finding a partner and decided that we must inject meaning into our lives by trying to fix them - the economy, the rainforest, the EU...We complicate and complicate until the time we have left for what we're actually here for dwindles and we get grumpy and pissy and create even more problems.

Ever notice how much happier you are, how the small things just don't seem to matter that much when you're in a good relationship? - Especially right there at the start, when the air is charged with tantalizing expectation and you haven't found the time to let all the bad stuff in yet! I like that place, but I like the places it goes after that too. Now it sounds like I'm whining about more than one boy liking me, but I'm not, really I promise. I just wish guys would admit that they are as complicated as we girls are, that there is some undercurrent perceptible only to men.

My other theory, which I have recently been pontificating on to various members of both sexes is that there are 2 types of people. Both men and women fall into two broad categories - the ones who only ever find someone desirable if they are clearly desired by someone else already, as if they must be validated first, proven worthy; and the ones for whom a sort of wall descends when they realise that someone else is attracted to or has claim over that person already. Now I think both are survival techniques and probably have a biological basis like most psychology. Possibly the former is the desire to have the most powerful and alluring mate, as if that trait is an indicator of virility, an indicator of strong offspring and success of later generations. Or it could simply be that the person lacks the confidence to choose a suitable mate and must rely on the eyes of others to do the job. The latter could be perceived as a means for the less dominant of the species to survive by conflict avoidance. If a potential mate approaches and is available then there is a safety, an absolute certainty that one can be successful. Where as absconding with another person's partner is a dangerous pursuit - not for the faint hearted.

Maybe this is an over simplification. My best friend also liked the first boy I ever really liked, and although we survived and were probably made stronger by that fact, we were not playing for keeps the way we would be now at the age of 22. Maybe it was this experience that pushed me into the latter category, maybe I am only there because of experience and not biology. Or could it be a mash of the two? I hate winning because it means someone else loses. But is this because I know what it feels like to lose? or is it something I always had? I find human sociology fascinating and I could go on, but I think I will leave it there.

In Honour of Richard Whiteley's unexpected death:

3 8 10 25 75 100

213

(I haven't tried it yet, but give it a go)

I Really Don't Have Time for This

2005-06-28T11:41:00.000Z

To Do List
1) stuff clothes into black plastic bags
2) send last month's rent to Raj
3) vacuum and dust flat
4) clean bathroom
5) toss out boxes and take paper to be recycled
6) send Steph's present
7) Paediatric slide exam and OSLER
8) Meeting with solicitor (2.30 Friday)
9) leave matric card with Emily so she can use gym and pick up undelivered packages
10) repack suitcase because keep taking out clothes to wear
11) do 3 loads of laundry (I don't have a dryer so it all gets hung up on drying rack)
12) haul stuff down to Ayr (thank you Uncle Jim!)
13) leave money for any outstanding bills with Emily (phone, electricity)
14) leave debit card detail with her so she can pay for plates when they arrive
15) pick up USMLE practice exam and books from Lindy (thank you Lindy!)
16) go running
17) control desire to text Chris for no reason
18) leave address with Raj so can send deposit back
19) full day of paediatrics teaching tomorrow in Dept. of Child Health LT
...I think that's it

I don't anticipate anything interesting happening to me in the next couple of months so please forgive me if I don't update this very often! I may be tempted to tell you about genetic disorders of lipid metabolism while I'm studying for this damn exam, so count yourself lucky!

Germany

2005-06-22T11:21:00.000Z

Hey all!
Just got back to Glasgow from Germany. It was beautiful on Lake Konstanz (Bodensee). The lake is 40 miles long and 2 miles wide and it touches Germany, Austria and Switzerland. The town that they are staying in is called Langenargen, but it sounds like Lang-in-oggin when the Germans say it. We took a day trip to Austria on a boat, then took a gondola to the top of a mountain, then a train home. It was a long hot sticky day, but we ate yummy pizza at the end which made it all OK! I spent 4 days with my sister and brother (Dad and Andi happened to be there too). The weather was fantastic. I got sunburned, but it settled into a nice golden tan. We went to the swimming pool nearly everyday (svimbat as they call it, I'm spelling it phonetically of course). We ate organic strawberries and this yummy seed bread that was covered in sunflower seeds with butter and homemade jam and honey, and lots cheese and cold meats. The day we went on our boat trip we had brunch in the big hall and everyone seemed fine, but just as we were finishing our museli and yoghurt Tom began to vomit copious amounts of half digested sour breakfast all over Andi and himself and the floor. Luckily Dad knows the word 'Spew' in German and told the lady who runs everything. The house that Andi has rented for the summer is in this little village run by the Catholic church - Old people groups, handicapped groups, and children of different ages with their families come for a few weeks, it's not really religious, but there are meditation circles and communal meals. Dad calls the woman that runs it Frau Hitler because she is so strict and anal about everything, like clearing the plates in a certain order and not doing this and doing that. By all accounts they think Andi and Dad are pretty weird because they don't eat the food in the dining hall and they don't follow the rules and join in all the activities. Hannah and Tom were both delights. I love the way they are little sponges and I could perceive a distinct improvement in Tom's German over the four days, by the end of the summer he will not be speaking English at all! Hannah and I shared the sofa bed. She kept asking if next time I would bring Michael. I tried to explain that Michael had hurt me very badly and that when that happens sometimes people can't be together anymore. She asked me how he hurt me and I said that he said things that were mean and did some things that were mean. By the end of the weekend she was convinced that maybe Michael would be nice and make things better and then he could come visit next time. She is also starting to ask about sex and I tried to explain that it was something a boy and girl of the same age (much older) do together and that they can't be related, but then I revised and said that sometimes girls have sex with girls and boys have sex with boys but mostly it was a thing that people of the opposite sex do together. She also has it in her head that not wearing underwear is 'sexy'. I have no idea how a 3.5 year old would arrive at this perception, but she has nonetheless! She also wanted me to send her a play fridge for her birthday, but I said it was too heavy to send to Germany. Then she wanted a bracelet, a necklace and dangly clip-on earrings and I had to send them to Germany, even tho they arrive back in the US the day after her birthday in August. Kids are so crazy!

Things I LOVE today:

parsnip crisps: laugh if you will, but they are almost as yummy as sweet potato chips. And you can get them at Pret a Manger

rhubarb yoghurt: as you've probably noticed, neither yoghurt or parsnip crisps are Atkins, I have failed, mainly because I was nauseous and I've decided healthy lo-cal and hi-exercise is the best way because it changes your lifestyle and eating habits for good and you can sustain it a lot longer, so here's to behaving myself

Grey skies of Glasgow: basically because I forgot to wash my face this morning, so I have on my anti-aging night cream and not my SPF 15 day cream, so my skin is super sensitive to sunlight, but lucky me, I live in Glasgow and the sun never shines, so damage is minimal!

Fake tan: I'm going to get one before I go home. They make you look thinner and you look better in white! Why, oh, why are all of my loves so narcissistic and shallow or food? I am such a cow!

Batman Begins: I love the fact that Katie Holmes was the only American in a film about a city that is so quintessentially American. But it was damn entertaining, I especially loved the hilariously gruff voice Mr Bale put on when he was in his bat costume.
Christian Bale: English/Welsh depending on who you talk to
Michael Caine: Cockney Londoner
Laim Neeson: Scottish
Gary Oldman: English
Cillian Murphy: Irish (Republic of) - and the man with the most gorgeous blue eyes ever, if you get a chance to watch Disco Pigs (not for the faint hearted), he is so mega-intense it's totally captivating (but he is a bit scary, a little too good as obsessive and slightly autistic Pig, I cannot exactly diagnose his bizarre personality disorder, but Pig and Runt have a most unusual brand of closeness. I witnessed something like this only once when I was 12 and staying at a state park campground on the S.C. coast and there were was a girl and boy who had a relationship akin to the one in the movie, which made me vaguely uncomfortable and like I was had stumbled in on something unsavoury and lewd despite being presented with no concrete proof of any vile acts). of course he's good in 28 Days Later, Girl with the Pearl Earring, and Intermission too, but Disco Pigs was the first thing I saw him in and I was spell-bound. He's newly married though, drat, but I guess the implausibility of our meeting and falling in love was always fairly apparent and I do prefer real people even if they most of them can't act particularly well.

QUESTION: I am planning to have a birthday party in October or November (I know my birthday is in August, but I haven't had a party since I was 13, which means I missed 16, 18 and 21, so I've decided that 23 is going to be a big one). The question is should I have a 'black and white' theme or a 'James Bond' theme? I would like the black and white to be dressy, like men in penguin suits and girls in LBDs, but Hilary wants to come as Cruella DeVille because she has the costume from her skating competitions. I just don't know. What do you think?

Things I LOVE Today

2005-06-16T13:20:00.000Z

1) Lancome icy tubes lip gloss with SPF 15: it tastes like yummy pineapple and tingles like cool mint

2) Atkins: OK, so really I hate it with a passion, but it does work really well, and totally erases my appetite, for that I must be grateful. Now on Day4. The plan is to stick to it all summer, so that I will finally stop whining about by lard ass, because I have no one to blame but myself for lacking discipline and loving bagels.

3) 1/2 Marathons: no, seriously, I love these! After training for the 10K and running about 100 of them (only 2 in any formal way, tho), I can now run for over 2 hours, which means I can theoretically do a 1/2 marathon, which is a good thing as I have signed up for one on September 5th. I am merely writing this down in the hope that I will get some motivation and start running again, since I haven't actually run more than a mile since the May 15th women's 10K (over 14,000 women ran it!!!!!). But my trainers are stinky and I need new ones, so I have been using their lack of cushioning as an excuse for getting out on the open road - what a lame-ass, I know! Anyway, I am running the Glasgow 1/2 marathon for Kidney Research in honour of my friend Stephanie. So if anyone wants to pledge some $$$$$ that'd be great! She is so strong and brave and nobody ever thinks about the kidneys until something goes wrong with them, which is a shame because they are pretty spectacular!

4) Mr and Mrs. Smith: OK it was mediocre, but the chemistry was undeniable, and let's face it - that's why we all went to see it! I liked Angelina's legs, which are impossible! What I hated about Ocean's Twelve, I liked about this, the stuff clearly going on for the benefit of the cast, and not the audience. I also like Seth Cohen and Lester Long. It was pretty entertaining and if you go in thinking that all you are expecting is to see lots of bullets flying, lots of Angelina's flesh, and lots of Brad being cutesy funny, you won't be disappointed.

5) My giant cyber folder that holds all of my uni bits and bobs: You may wonder why it might be that I love my folder so much, but mainly it is because I have also saved some rather important e-mails from Mandy about you-know-who (not Voldermort), e-mails from you-know-who and even some of my own highly articulate and boldly emotional e-mails to you-know-who. So whenever things are a bit slow on the dating front and I start to think that maybe he wasn't so bad after all (start to think that I'll never have so deep a love for another person as long as I live), I read over these and remember how miserable I was and that actually I am still bitterly heartbroken about it all and I know to leave well enough alone, not least because never in my whole life has he ever given me the slightest concrete proof that his love for me was anything more than a desire to validate his own existence, nothing more than a blanket for his own security. Which makes me a little nauseous and totally reconvinced that ending it was the right thing to do. And I don't fret that I'm 22 and about to leave university and that the prime opportunity for meeting a mate is about to terminate. It was entirely my choice to spend so many of those years pining over him and not really giving anyone else a chance. I don't harbour any ill will. I only know that I am a kinder, purer, more centred and emotionally stable person on my own. And I hope only Mandy and Mark read this blog, but I guess I'm partially in the mood to take a great risk in so candidly revealing my current inner thoughts on the internet, so caution be damned, I don't care who knows that I have a broken heart, and that I was wavering there for a moment, because the moment has passed and it's OK to be weak sometimes. Just as long as I don't cheat on my diet and look good in my bikini, it'll all work out in the end...

Weekend Movie Review

2005-06-06T11:03:00.000Z

I decided that because I have absolutely no life outside of the Royal Hospital for Sick Children this 5 week block, I'm going to take a leaf out of Mandy's book and write a review of my film viewing this weekend. They are as follows:

on DVD and video
1) PIECES OF APRIL - starring Katie Holmes, Patricia Clarkson, Oliver Platt, a girl with a really annoying upturned nose, and a lot of gritty documentary style camera work
2) PHANTOM OF THE OPERA - starring Emma 'what's with her teeth and where do her visceral organs fit?' Rossum, yummy Gerard 'I scream because I can't sing' Butler (he tried really, and he's Scottish and played Dracula once and so he's not all bad), Patrick 'could I be any blander' Wilson, Miranda 'weird French accent despite the fact that my daughter is a cockney rebel' Richardson, Simon 'always perfect in every role' Callow, Minnie 'HaHa' Driver (absolutely stole the show), and my personal favourite Jennifer 'I've had a boob job, released a naff single, was a soap star and now think I can make it in Hollywood' Ellison

on The Big Screen
1)MONSTER-IN-LAW - starring Jane 'I'm supposedly smart and political, but got bored and thought I'd try my hand at schlocky romance' Fonda, J. 'always play the same character, but still a better actress than singer' Lo, Michael 'I'm fluent in French and completely edible' Vartan, and the rest of the cast: obligatory gay neighbour/friend, plucky best friend who made successful independent career move (catering/interior design/salon owner/alternative therapies provider), ethnic minority assistant with attitude
2) LEAGUE OF GENTLEMEN: APOCALYPSE - starring the cast of League of Gentlemen (Reese 'why am I so attractive' Shearsmith, Mark 'why don't my characters get better plots' Gatiss, Steve 'I'm always the woman' Pemberton) and a couple other funny guys whose names have escaped me.

Yes it was a busy weekend, folks, as you can see. I'm not going to go into too much detail since there are 4 to get through.

Pieces of April was suprisingly decent considering the protagonist was annoying Joey Potter. Patricia Clarkson was on form as usual, playing a cancer-riddled mother traveling with her over-achieving daughter, over-attentive husband, demented mother, and shaggy haired slightly irrelevant son to share her last Thanksgiving with her '1st Pancake' daughter for whom she does not possess a single happy memory. It was better than I expected and shorter than I expected a character piece to be. Perhaps it was my weepy mood, but I blubbered like a baby. I found each character quite entertaining, even the cheap 'who are you' jokes from the geriatric.

Phantom I'd already seen twice in the theatre (not because of it's spectacularness, but because like all big movies more than one person asked me to go and I felt guilty turning either down). It was cheesy, and to be fair it was meant to be. The best bit was the beginning when the old dusty condemned Opera Populaire is magically restored into its former glory with brilliant CGI, something unachievable in a stage production. Minnie Driver rocked and was hilarious. Emily Rossum was a bit boring and her voice was not Sarah Brightman's, but she was delicate and eensy and it took no stretch of the imagination to see why someone with a horrible disfigurement might find her beguiling. Gerard, oh Gerard, I want so badly for you to be a big Hollywood star, but I think perhaps small budget films with meaty characters is the way to go babe, you garnered no dazzling press from this endeavor.

Monster-in-law was entertaining, but typical and I really have no great praise for it. Everyone was really pretty and fun to look at. The outfits, especially the wedding dress (you know me) were fun to look at too. Every woman is looking for a Michael Vartan, but let me assure you that surgeons are nothing like him. Humility is not generally in their vocabulary, let alone genetic makeup. And most of them do not have his toned physique.

League of Gentlemen - you definitely have to be a fan of the show to enjoy this. It was good, but their most famous characters Papa Lazerou, Tubs and Edward, Pauline, etc... Made small contributions or were absent entirely, which may disappoint some fans. It was clever and not too overdone and I rather enjoyed the 'Protestant pretender' storyline. And of course it was lovely to see Her Lipp develop into such a warm fuzzy. The tone that was set with the minister's crude pontification on the filthiness of female self-pleasure was not sustained for long and it was difficult to tell whether this was an intentional humanisation of the characters or if they ran out of filthy jokes and word-play. It was the best movie of the weekend if only for it originality and for the mostly graceful putting to bed of a much loved cult classic.

I'm not nearly as articulate as Mandy when it comes to films, but I feel certain that she will not be writing a a review of any of these films, and I therefore pose no threat to her reign, nor do I risk feeling like smoo when she outdoes me.

I'm like totally having a like visceral reaction to this...no, wait, I just ate too much.

2005-05-25T13:55:00.000Z

Just thought I'd say how glad I am that we don't talk like that anymore. Or do we? I'm actually quite scared really. When I actually become a doctor am I going to sound like one? Or are patients going to fear my very approach, fear I might put the catheter in the wrong hole or accidentally drop chewing gum into their hair. Because, y'all, like for real, I chew gum on the ward, I stare at my pores during my lunch hour, I say 'um', 'like', 'y'know', 'for real', and use a drawn out 'so' or 'so not' as an adjective and use all sorts of descriptive sound effects to convey the power of my cutting intellect. I know it's not entirely my fault, I am a product of my generation. But god y'all, it's embarassing in a professional setting and I just don't know how to kick the habit. And i think it's going to be worse when I move back to the US. Here no one talks like me so I have nothing reinforcing my inane 90210 speak. It really has diminished, but when I get back on the phone with an NC buddy, it floods back. Even with my mom who is not even American I do it. It's like because I associate her with home, I talk like a vocab retard (by the way, that is so not PC, and no one here says Spastic or Retard). I have a serious problem folks. I can use words like 'bifurcation', 'duodenum', and 'amorusis fugax' with gusto and confidence and yes, I actually know what they mean, but I'm totally discredited when i twirl my hair and get twang-happy. There is this theory that patients always trust the opinion of a doctor whose accent localises him/her to a place outwith the general vicinity of the area he/she works, as if they are some sort of specialist brought in, or more highly qualified because they are not local. No so for us American chicas. Goddam Dubbya, he's ruined it for us all! Where did it all go wrong? Free me from my crap verbalage nightmare!

P.S. This all came up when I visited m-w.com and read their Top 10 favourite words not in the dictionary, which got me realising that i make up my own words all the time and that really I sound like a total idiot. But most of all that I still have not grown out of teenager lingo.

MKH, the modern Jabberwocky

2005-05-24T13:30:00.000Z

And, as in uffish thought he stood,

The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,

Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,

And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through

The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

He left it dead, and with its head

He went galumphing back.

That was for you, MKH, that's the general idea of what I wanted to do to you when I got a verbal beating about my lack of posts! I'll have you know that Scotland is not as technolgically advanced as America. Ok, that's a lie, have you seen our cell phones? Light-years ahead of you guys and EVERYONE knows how to send and receive text messages, in fact we are well on our way to ceasing oral coversation altogether, who needs it when you have a whole 160 characters to say exactly what you mean without risking interuption - it's brilliant, especially for my friends who would find it difficult to get a word in edge-wise if it weren't for this modern miracle. Heck, we text each other when we're sitting on opposite sides of the room so we don't have to raise our voices (yeah right, when have I ever not raised my voice?)! No, but seriously, the nearest internet connection is 2 miles from my Granny's house and I don't drive (hello, roundabouts are scary shit folks), and it is always raining here, and when I'm in the hospital I'm glad to report that I am usually learning something moderately useful and not spending too much time on e-mails (my Radiology teaching was postponed till Friday before you ask). And I don't have enough money to buy a computer and get broadband, so you'll all just have to be bloody content with what you bloody well get! But I thought, 'well, I really must appease her,' so here it is. You'd better say thanks!

Election 2005

2005-05-05T11:24:00.000Z

It is election day - that is all I really have to say about that.

Well...actually, a bomb went off at the British consulate in NYC today, don't know if that has anything to do with the elections, can't see any other reason. And I got to vote for the fist time in the UK, that was exciting. I woke up at the crack of dawn to vote in my constituency (Glasgow North West) and they let me keep my poll card since it was my first time and I wanted a souvenir! Then Robbie picked me up and we sped down to Ayr for an exciting morning in the computer room of the hospital!

It's also Cinco de Maio, but that means nothing to me, other than vague recollections of Spanish class when I was 7.

I really wish something exciting had happened that I could write about. I got a snog, I guess that's something! But one doesn't find it becoming of a lady to discuss the licentious details (Can a detail be licentious? I don't actually think it can, I think only people can be licentious, but I'm going to leave it in anyway).

I utilised a very handy internet quiz to help me decide how to vote (The World's Smallest Political Quiz) and Hey, Presto!... I never need to think about politics again!

My mother has decided to sell her house and buy a smaller place. She has also decided to quit her job and become a locum doc. So if anyone wants to be a hospital internist and work long crappy hours and get paid less than all the other doctors feel free to enquire about the opening (but not too soon, I don't think she's told anyone yet). Also if anyone is looking for a 4 bedroom, 3.5 bathroom, decked house with finished basement, den, office, conservatory and 2.25 acres of woodland, she lives in Weaverville and would welcome any enquiries.

Has anyone seen Kingdom of Heaven yet? What about Palindrome? Those are the 2 on my list right now, but don't know if I should go see them. Let me know if they were any good!

Poo, Clandestine Affairs, Flat-hunting, and Redheads

2005-04-11T15:50:00.000Z

Ok, so really not that much to report. While everyone is gearing up for the impending 5-year reunion (getting haircuts, buying cellulite cream, waxing facial hair- you know who you are) - can it really be 5 years?????? - I am sadly squating in the corner of a patient's room with one of the surgical trainee (who is having a hush-hush affair with another one of the surgical trainees, though anyone with eyes can see that they are banging like rabbits in the storage cupboard when no one is looking, but that's another story - yes, life really is a cross between ER and Scrubs). Anyway, the two surgeons who are having a secret affair, and yes they are both good looking late-20-somethings, so if you want to picture it go ahead, they have just readmitted this elderly guy who for the 4th time this month has twisted his bowel into a loop and has accumulated massive amounts of wind and gloopy shite in his abdomen. So this guy is panting and trying to climb out of bed and the surgeons stick a rigid sigmoidoscope (think 2 foot dildo with light on the end) into his rectum to try and release the 'trapped flatus' as they like to refer to it - so out comes this whoosh of gas, followed swiftly by copious quantities of noxious runny crap, which splatters all over the scrubs of the male surgeon and the tights of the female. Then they stuck a hollow tube up his ass via the sigmoidoscope and massaged his belly so more would come out and then they attached it to a bag and left the nurse to deal with it. In their defense they did mop up all the shit that had cascaded onto the floor and ricocheted onto the wall behind them. It was so beautiful, and a really good reason to be a physician not a surgeon. But they reckon they're going to take the guy's colon out later this week so he won't get this problem anymore! Lucky him! So that was my afternoon. Even though I was 5 feet from the action, I really wanted to go home and have a scalding shower to clean myself.

On a more hygienic note (but not much) - I went to Rufus Wainwright concert last night and it was phenomenal! During the encore they all stripped and he had on a sparkly blue thong and then he put on a tiara and red stilettos and Miss Glasgow sash, and then they all put on witch hats and capes for the next song and then for the last 2 they all had on bathrobes - it was spectacuar, I highly recommend seeing him if you can! I think I'm in love with him, it's a shame about the whole gay thing, drat!

Also, went to a concert on Wednesday evening at this cool Belgian bar on this little cobblestone lane (Ashton Lane) that we have here in the west end of Glasgow (highly pretentious bars and restaurants). They are called The Cellers and they are friends with this guy I know Stuart. They are very good in a sort of Ryan Adams way. I've seen them 3 times now and I still dance like a crazy-head around my tiny wee bedroom when i listen to them so worth checking them out if you get a chance, they only have an EP out I think, but it's super good! And Brian the lead singer is very enthusiastic - when he sings you think his eyes are going to pop out of his head!

I am buying a flat -well, when I sat 'I' I really mean my parents are buying a flat in Glasgow, or more correctly - my Dad's lending me the downpayment, Mom's paying the mortgage for the 1st year, and then I will take it over once I start my job in August 2006!!!! Anyway, I have my first viewing on Thursday and I'm so excited about the prospect that I will have my own place! So I have to get a solicitor and then shop for a mortgage and that'll be me sorted!

So that's all my news, but I would like you to tell me your personal feelings on redheads...there may be a certain someone I have my eye on and I as wondering if it was a no-go zone. I'm beginning to think I have a bit of a ginger fetish...first JHL, then Stu, now this new guy (who shall remain nameless) and I can't help but wonder if it's just because when you're single during spring fever you can't help but want to jump on every man you see! So any views you may hold on carrot tops would be much appreciated! Cheers M'Dears XXX

David Miller

2005-03-28T19:22:00.000Z

As most of you know, David Miller was a very close friend of my family. He was family. My mother, brother and I loved him very much. We were all devastated when he committed suicide earlier this month. He was a wonderful friend with a generous spirit and a knack for forgetting where he left his car. For me it is like a dream. He was absent from my life because I was so far away from home, so for him to be absent forever is a difficult concept to grasp. Nothing has changed in my daily routine. My weekend phone calls to my mom will no longer finish with 'Say hi to David for me!', but other than that I cannot perceive a shift. I am preparing myself to truly mourn him only when I return to Asheville this summer, but for now I feel only a numbness and the occasional lump in my throat when I put on the bracelet that he gave me for my birthday last year or when I think about our last chat, pertaining to my relationship with Michael of course, when he said he thought I didn't seem happy. I guess when someone has taken on the role as 'grown-up' in your life it is harder to recognise their weakness and need for help, to recognise their emotional ailments when they are trying to fix yours. It seems that often those people who are so in tune with the feelings of others, empaths, are those who have the spectrum of human emotion crashing around inside their brains, making the feeling of others so lucid, but frustrating their own course to happiness. He will be missed in a purely selfish way, as the person whom I loved and who filled a huge niche in my life and I hope that the endless sleep has brought him peace and happiness. I hope you all will remember him in your thoughts and if you pray, in your prayers also. Thank you.

Evil and Swamped

2005-03-28T18:37:00.000Z

So I'm evil. I know it. I know how dedicated you all are - coming to my blog everyday in the hope that I might have posted some vain little tidbit regarding my titillating existence, and yet I still run off to the Mediterranean coast without so much as a 'ta ta'! I feel like one of those callous jet-setters, casting off the shackles of obligation to you little insects to pursue a sleepless life of decadent hedonism (the whole 1 insect who actually cares about my existence enough to read my blog, that is - Thanks Mandy)! OK, you know me too well. I've been wracked with guilt, flagellating myself with a cat'o nine tails daily because I've neglected my page so much. I had hoped it would give me some sort of discipline - lure me to the 'Study Landscape' (the med school's fancy term for 'library that you can't check any books out of') where I would type away for a while then the shelves of medical texts would scream out deafeningly at me 'Sarah, come taste our knowledge. Do you want to be a bad doctor? Do you want to be ignorant and kill all of your future patients?'. Unfortunately the soft undulating tones of pret-a-porter.com and sephora.com are far more hypnotic. So here I am apologising and you're all groaning because now you actually have something to read and lords knows I'm not a particularly captivating humorist or a witty intellectual, so I guess I'd like to take this oppotunity to apologise not only for my absence, but for my presence and thus my entire existence, because if I'm not absent I'm present and neither of those two options can please everyone. Back to my old ways. Since liveing in Scotland I have learned to not apologise for my existence - I've learned to say 'get stuffed' to anyone who doesn't like it, but when I know I'm typing to a predominantly American audience I can't help but say sorry all the time, as if I were (or was, I never know - any English language majors who can help with that one?) back on the hockey pitch apologising to my opponent for taking the ball away. So, has anything exciting happened????? No, not really. Spain and the vinyards in the south of France were lovely. We stayed in a beautiful house on a steep mountain on the Costa Brava, in a little town called Begur in an area known as Aiguablava (strong water in Catalonian I think) and it was very pretty and my bathroom rocked, and it was owned by an Irish colonel and his Argentinian wife. I ate lots of yummy bread, watched Smallville, sat in the car a whole lot going from town to medival town, looked at a lot of cold and mouldy catherdrals (do they ever clean them????), drove all the way down to Valencia to meet up with Andrea's (the Bolivian exchange student that is living with my dad) pen pal. There was a festival on - Les Falles, where each neighbourhood commissions a huge themed papier mache sculpture and then they all burn them and set off those popping things that MacCauley Culkin uses in Home Alone to scare off Joe Pesci ???, then women in traditional dress carry flowers to the giant virgin Mary outside the cathedral and men use the flowers to make her a dress and that's about it. And then we went to France and stayed in 400-year-old house owned by English people in a tiny place all Paleriac which had a phonebox in the square and a little WWI monument with the dagguerotypes of the 7 sons of the village who had lost their lives. There were at most 14 houses in the whole village. I took a picture of a bunch of it and I'll post it when I get them back. The nearest 'civilised' town had a pizza van that actually had a wood stove inside - a definite OSHA no-no! All in all, a fun trip and it was good to see my family and the Jenkinses. I missed a week of lectures and got an e-mail saying I'd have to 'self-certificate' if i was ill, so I sent in a form and under the heading 'illness' is wrote 'apathy and dissillusionment'. Now I've started my 1st surgery block and it is shit-scary. I know nothing about surgery and we have this scary consultant surgeon as our supervisor. His name is Mr. Eltahir and he's a general surgeon with a specialty in breast cancer. He is very tall and skinny and bald with a thick Egyptian accent and his colleagues call him Fattie, but I'm sure we'd be hung by our toes if we dared. The Sub-dean of the hospital described him as a 'rotweiler' and she definitely hit the mark. All the doctors claim he is actually very nice, but this is probably because he uses all of his aggression up on us. But I think I will learn a lot as he requires us to have 7 half days of teaching per week, attend outpatient clinics, organise radiology teaching, pathology teaching, go to theatre and learn about whatever we've come across that day in our 'own time' (meaning when we get home at 6pm rather than when we have a spare moment at the hospital - we should not have a spare moment apparently). He wants us to make up for the 2 days we had off at Easter and everytime we run into him in the hallway he asks us for a detailed list of what we have done so far that week. He'll be none too pleased when I describe in detail my scheduled Papsmear or my appointment at the dermatologist next week, I'm quaking already. The end is in sight though. I finish classes next April and join the ranks of junior house officers in August 2006, hopefully they will discover the cure for death by that point, or else you're all screwed! If anything funny happens to me at any point i will recount it with gusto, but until then 'ta ta'. XOXO

The Hideous Tackiness that is Britain

2005-02-28T15:00:00.000Z

For all of you Americans who don't eagerly await the yearly voice-over of Terry Wogan (Franz Ferdinand name drop in 'Matinee')- TV presenter, Radio DJ (radio 2 - music for old people who used to be cool), all round class guy - at the Eurovisions Song contest, let me tell you it is a marvel to behold. You are all seriously deprived! Every year we hunker down in front of our pathetically small television with the fuzzy picture to watch as well known European countries such as Germany compete against those lesser known countries such as Turkey (tell me how this is part of Europe - you really are in the Middle East you guys, come on, let's not try to pretend you're not terrorists, we all know the truth). Anyway, apparently Turkey is indeed part of Europe. You all seriously need to watch it on the web if you can. America has been mercifully spared the diabolical music that comes out of the competition. In fact, you have been mercifully spared a whole lot of absolutely shit pop music from Britain. The first British contestant I ever watched was a girl named Jessica Garlick - how unfortunate for her. Last year's entrants were called Gemini. You get the idea. Britian's entry this year is Jordan (AKA Katie Price). Now maybe the boys who peruse the 'lads mags' of America will know her, but over here she is what we'd call a very high profile C-class celebrity. Now don't get me wrong, I really love her. She speaks her mind, she's smarter than she looks, she's ambitious, she's engaged to an australian pop star called Peter Andre whose latest release was titled 'Insania' and she has a young son who is partially blind and probably has some 'learning difficulties', yet she still gets up every morning, dons her glossy hair extensions, trowels on the slap, sqeezes into her violent pink hotpants and fishnets and mounts her stallion (yes, despite her slapper appearance, she rides posh horses and lives on a country estate - one of the many contradictions being British affords - an odd combination of Aristo-envy and chavdom, as a foreigner I still don't get it). Now a chav is defined above, but please don't take this the wrong way. There are plenty of working class people out there who are not chavs/neds and I come from working class stock so I can hardly feel any distaste for my own people. And there are pleny of super rich people who are very chav-licious (Paris Hilton, Victoria Beckham, Colleen McLoughlin). Y'all must come and see for yourself the wonderful subculture that thrives on this island! So the whole point of this was to encourage you all to watch Eurovision on the 19th/21st of May 2005. I know it's a ways away, but put that evening aside, I promise you won't be disappointed! You may hear such wonderful lines as 'If you want to get my love say the magic word:Sagapo, S.A.G.A.P.O...' by memorable musician Michalis Rakintzis.

2005-02-21T16:41:00.000Z

Ya'll please forgive me for not knowing how to use my computer! I thought I'd write a 'please help' post so that someone out there with time and ability would tell me how to do some useful things - like create a link, which they try to explain in the 'help' menu, but fail terribly because i don't understand a friggin' word of it! I don't have any photos of my own to post as I live in the dark ages and do not possess a digital camera (except on my phone and the pixels suck major *&%£"*$). I actually think I can probably transfer pictures from other websites because I'm sure I did that once for a powerpoint presentation with Charles Daly in AP Bio on synaptic transmission! I'm sure we had lightening and an axon and everything and it looked cool. The problem is the last time I tried to do a PPP I couldn't remember how to make my words fly in or change the background or anything! You don't have to do anything in medical school remotely like that (except the PPP I have due in like 2 weeks on cryptogenic fibrosing alveolitis - don't ask, I don't have a clue!)! So if anyone reading this who is more computer literate than me(that means everyone) would like to maybe give me few pointers that'd be splendiferous - even if you know of a useful website like www.blogsfordummies.com (ooh, that just turned blue, I think that means I've created a link, how exciting! Too bad that website doesn't exist! And how do you name it something else but have it go to the website you want and how to do make a little place for it that is not on a post so that it is always on your blog and never archived? Oooh, it's all so confusing!) Anyway, I'm being a slacker right now - I should really being writing up my cases and I just ate half a pot of nutella and I'm sure it's a major source of magnesium, which gives you diarrhoea and I'm off to boxfit with Hilary, so won't that be fun for the people standing behind me!

Why do the Crazies Pick Me?

2005-02-16T15:40:00.000Z

Okay, so usually in a first post you would say Hi and tell everyone how great a blogger you're going to be and why they should vote for you and what-not, but anyone looking at my blog probably knows me because let's face it who else would be interested and frankly even those who know me will probably get bored! So I thought I'd start by telling you all about my interesting week so far. I am currently doing an SSM (special study module) in Respiratory medicine - wow, sounds exciting, no?! However, I just finished a 5 week stint in a psychiatric hospital - yeah, that always gets them chomping at the bit (let met tell you, there are some really crazy people out there, not that they can help it, but wow, some of the things I've heard - confidentiality prevents me from disclosing)! Anyway, I must have gotten some of their crazy germs or something because (are future doctors allowed to be so un-PC?) ever since then strange people have started accosting me in the street. On Sunday a nicely dressed, freshly coiffed lady in her late 30's began screaming (and when I say screaming I mean her face was turning purple with the effort) at me from about 50 yards away as I walked to the grocery store. At first I could not make out her words because of the ferocious way she was gargling and the bustling foot traffic ahead of me (why wasn't she yelling at them, huh?), but when she got right up in my face she screached 'I'm not fucking off my head' several times and hit me with her large, but mostly empty handbag. And yes, she spat her saliva all over my face. I wanted to tell her to go get a top-up on her antipsychotic meds, but upon further reflection I thought better of it because she was way bigger than me! Apparently she had read my mind, because at 50 yards I was thinking just that - 'she's off her head'. I could barely hold my face straight and pissed myself laughing once I was round the corner. When it rains it pours because yesterday I was walking down Byers Rd. (the sort of main street near uni for anyone who hasn't visited me - ehem, everyone). Well, this skinny old guy in about 10 layers of clothing and using one of those proper institutional metal walking sticks stoppd me to tell me he liked my outfit - my first instinct was to say thanks politely, which I did as I trotted past picking up the pace. What, might you ask, is so weird about that? Well, I thought so too, but then i looked down and I was wearing what might be classed as the most bland and boring of hospital attire on the planet - librarian doesn't even begin to describe it- no one in their right mind would compliment it. And then i glanced back to see him nodding his head at a trash can and cackling madly. Then last night as i was walking home with Emily when another strange man who reeked of unwashed hair homed in on me a started jabbering under his breath. I could only make out the word 'knickers', but I'm guessing the rest was lewd. So I must have an aura or something. Anyway, I would just like to send a message to anyone with a mental health problem - be it personality disorder, mood disorder, or otherwise - please don't try to date me (those i refer to know who you are), don't yell at me, don't talk about my knickers, don't invade my nice peaceful mostly-sane little bubble in any way. Thank you.